Road Kill and Capes

Dead hedgehog (roadkill) at the side of a road.

Image via Wikipedia

My daughter has informed me that I am “So not in style Mom”.  So I might have shirts that I still wear from the 90’s, and I might be stuck in a continuous circle of tees, hoodies, and jeans.  It wasn’t until she looked at me and with a look of horror on her face asked “You aren’t wearing THAT today are you?” that I thought that I might need to update my look a little.

The newest line of clothing I’m thinking may be my answer to making her realise that what I wear isn’t that bad.  Ke$sha is the latest pop diva with her own clothing line.  She wants to bring back the cape and honor animals killed on the side of the road by using them in her clothing line.  “I’m trying really hard to bring back capes. They’ve been out since the 1800s, it’s about time they came back.” Ke$sha said in an MTV interview.

Aside from attempting to look like a preschooler pretending to be superman, there will also be roadkill and recycled feathers being used in her clothes.  “I do [design my own stuff] and I work with people that help me,” she said. “For instance they designed this hat. We find roadkill and put it on my clothes and recycled feathers.” She also added that “I think it’s important not to kill animals. I also think it’s an honor to the animal if it’s already dead and sitting on the side of a highway. I might as well wear it on MTV.”  Well if she’s looking for road kill to wear, she should be looking on my road ( please see Crazy woodland creatures) enough of them decide to end their lives in front of my truck, including a opposum just a few hours ago.

If this is what the young people of today are wearing, I think I’m going to stick with my cotton shirts and jeans.  No offense to Ke$sha but I don’t think that I’ll look good in a raccoon tank top.  Although I might go ahead and get a deer cape and hedgehog hat  just so the next time my daughter asks me if I’m wearing my favorite hawaiian shirt to drop her off at cheer, I can go put it on and take her wearing the latest thing instead of embarrassing her by being out of style.

Not allow epidurals?

Sen. Dan Liljenquist of Utah wants to cut costs.  If he’s trying to win over American women, he’s going about it the wrong way.  He is wanting to cut “elective” procedures from Medicaid.  This would include scheduled C-Sections and epidural.

My first thought when I heard this was “This man obviously does not have children”.  If he had children he would understand that men should stay out of women’s issues.  No man could understand what child birth is like, the closest thing they have is kidney stones, and even then it’s a stretch to compare the two.

Men whine about head colds, hang nails, ingrown toe nails, and having to have stitches.  They play rough sports attempting to relive their highschool glory days, and then sit on the couch with ice packs asking you for the icy hot.  Men cannot tolerate pain, blood, needles, or 3am feedings of newborns.

To take that option away from women who are on Medicaid is ridiculous.  Everyone has a different pain tolerance, no one knows what their braking point is till they hit it.  Some women epidurals actually let them relax instead of fighting their bodies and let them deliver quicker.  I am one of these women.  I have 3 children and I had 3 epidurals.  I progressed quicker after my epidural than before.  For the simple fact that I was relaxed and not thinking about pain.  If my insurance company had told me that they weren’t going to pay for it because it was an elective procedure I would have gone off on them.

So Sen. Dan Liljenquist my challenge to you is this.  After you squeeze an 8lb watermelon out of your ass, then you can propose a bill to cut out epidurals.  Till then please stick to what men are good at, questioning retired baseball players about their rumored steroid use.

There is “something”

I have been hearing a noise for a few hours now.  Small scratching noises, and rustling coming from behind my computer desk.  My first instinct of course was to pull my feet up onto my computer chair and ignore the noise.  Well 30 minutes later it was becoming quiet annoying and with the dog still sleeping, I did what any rational woman would do.  Without putting my feet on the floor, I grabbed my wicker basket off of my computer desk, kneeled on my computer chair, and looked behind my desk ready to strike whatever monster was going to jump out at me.  Only to discover that there was nothing there.   Thinking that it was all in my head from lack of sleep, I went back to my playing around on http://www.cafemom.com.  After hearing the “something” again I decided that there must be a mouse either in the wall or kitchen cabinet directly behind my computer desk.  Once the dog woke up I had her stand with me while I opened the cabinet, I have no idea if she is a mouse dog or not, but I figured that we’d find out if Shelties will catch mice.  There is nothing in the cabinet.  So we are down to the wall.  Now I just need to decide if this little guy is driving me crazy enough to put a hole in my wall or not.

Who ever said “kids shouldn’t hear NO” is an idiot

Ah the perfect granola helicopter June Cleaver moms have gotten to me again.  The fact that someone actually thinks that children shouldn’t hear the word “no” because it, well I’m not sure what because I was attempting to pick my jaw up off of the floor from the first part should come to my house and deal with my children and husband!

Around here “no” is a verb, noun, and I’m starting to think that it’s my youngest childs name.  Just about every minute or two you will hear “No, we are getting ready to eat lunch you cannot have a snack”, “NO, you cannot put your brother in a box”, “NO, don’t do that, you’ll hurt your sister”, “No honey, you cannot buy that right now”, “If you ask me again the answer will still be NO” “No, QUIT, PUT THE KNIVES BACK!”  I’m not seeing how it could be harmful to my children to say those two little letters so much, but if I get a therapy bill 20 years from now I guess I can always tell them “NO, I am not the one that screwed up your childhood, and NO I will not be paying this bill”

Back to school time

Ah summer is in full swing, the kids are bored out of their minds attempting to entertain themselves by killing each other.  I’m trying to figure out what to do with all the cucumbers in my garden, and the baby bunnies have ate my tomatoes.  All of this can only mean one thing, it’s time again to go back to school shopping.  Time to argue with my daughters on why certain things are not appropriate for school, and why they cannot have the Jonas Brothers pencils that they must have or they are “going to die”  I hear our friends complaining about having to buy 20 boxes of crayons for each of their kids back to school list, and my husband complaining about how expensive shoes are.  Not to mention that he doesn’t understand WHY girls need a black pair, brown pair, sneakers, and gym shoes.  I’ve tried the so they’ll match argument for years, but alas he still does not get it.  So in this busy time I leave you other parents with this exciting thought, in just a few short days the kids will be back in school and we can all take a huge breath of air knowing that we survived another summer while throwing our back to school keggers